A Lot Of Sadness...

I'm not going into details here, because I don't feel the need, and anyone that reads this probably doesn't really want to hear it all... besides, too many differing opinions out there, and I DON'T want to hear them...

The only thing I have to say right now, in a very general way is, why is it that some people think the only way out of a bad situation is to end it all? And yes, I mean life... why can't some people just realize that there's a great big world out there, and even though your part of it falls down around your ears, there are always things to do besides just quitting... I mean, I have in my time, once, felt that I would never be able to go on with my life because of a particular situation I found myself in, but I didn't do anything stupid, and it turned out that I was very smart in that respect, because things ended up a hundred percent better than I had thought they would... and if I had done anything stupid, it would have been an awful mistake...

I recently (bare bones version) had someone I care for very much try to take themselves out of a bad situation that came up... it hurts that they tried (they're o.k. at the moment, under observation and all) because they have a LOT of support from everyone that they know... and, personally, I find it heartbreaking that they didn't let ME help them more... it's totally shocking that this person wanted to do this, and even though I understand what's going on in the situation, I can't accept that this would be the best answer to it all... in fact, it seems to me that the best thing to do is keep going, prove other people wrong (I'm not going to explain it all, so don't ask) and just do everything necessary to make the situation better... because it may take time, but it will all get better eventually... but, as I said, it hurts that they've focused so much on their pain (which, I understand, is real, and very intense) that they can't see that there's another, better way out of it... it might not be immediate, but it's there... and while I thought that they were taking comfort from the fact that things were going to work out right eventually, it turned out that they had already decided to give up... couldn't wait...

I barely got the ambulance to the house in time...

If I'm not around for a while, I hope anyone who reads this understands... the only reason I'm on here now is that I'm waiting on a phone call from the hospital... not sure when it's going to come, but all I can do is wait...

If you have honest, sympathetic comments, my only request is that you KEEP THEM BRIEF... feel free to say what you need to, but (and I'm not trying to hurt feelings, I'm just being honest) I don't really want to have to wade through anyone else's sad story, about themselves, or their relative, or friend... right now, I don't really even want to deal with what's going on now, but I just have to, so I will...

To anyone I've made sad with this post, well... I hope you can get over it quickly... go read the comics on Yahoo News page... it helps me sometimes (not now, but)... to any who don't care, well, I hope, in your life, all is well... and to all the rest, all I can say is...

Peace...

O.K., One More Time...

I guess some people aren't as understanding or open as you might at first think... in my last post on here, I tried to apologize to someone that I offended... turns out, she wasn't looking for an apology, but apparently she needed a new target to focus some bad attitude on... well, I'm not going to slam her the way she slammed me on her blog, but I am going to respond to a few things she accused me of...

1. She accused me of using this blog, and surfing other blogs, simply to meet women. This accusation came after I read a very open, honest post of hers, and was impressed by her ability to talk about a couple of very touchy subjects... well, just because I wanted to contact and chat with her "off-blog", she assumed that I wanted to cyber-sex her... which was not true... I simply thought it would be interesting to talk to someone with an interesting point of view on a LOT of subjects (yes, including, but not exclusive to, sex) that was different from other women that I have been around. But, even after trying to explain this misunderstanding to her, it seems that she didn't have a very open mind after all... oh, and as for the idea that I only try and talk to women on here, well, I think there are quite a few men that I've read posts of and commented on who would probably be very confused about that statement... I am a bit more interested in talking to women than men, most guys are, but I was raised by my mom and three older sisters, and I learned a long time ago that women are generally more interesting to talk to than men (I mean, I already have a guys point of view... mine)...

2. She also accused me of "begging for money" simply because I have a link that says "I Accept Donations", and it goes to "The Church of Me Donation Box"... well, either she didn't read the post that is on that site, or once again, her closed-mindedness kept her from seeing the truth... that site was created after a friend of mine heard that this blog was a "Church"... he said, "hey, you should set up a donation box, like all churches have"... and, well, as a J O K E, I did... and if you read the post, it's pretty obvious that I don't expect anyone to give me anything at all... and I DAMN sure don't want anything because I'm in the Army... also, if the post there is read far enough down, you'll see that I pretty much hope that people will click on the LINKS that I have there, which are for the Red Cross, Salvation Army, United Way, and the Children's Miracle Network... I'm working on finding more links to put on there to other organizations I like... but, the idea that she got from that post was, I'm some sort of freeloading, money hungry bum... guess she wasn't even trying to look for the truth, and can't get (what I thought was) a pretty obvious joke...

3. She also accused me of making her ratings drop on some site that pays attention to how many people like your blog... so, I guess she's just in this all to make herself look good... well, if I did anything at all, I'd say it was to bring out a side of her attitude that, I guess, no one wanted to read or see...

Now. I'm done with her. I didn't want to have to use my time or space to discuss this anymore, I tried to drop it, I even apolgized, but... I guess some people just have to find someone else to complain about sometimes...

But, in the long run, I guess I'm glad she didn't want to talk... she seems a lot less interesting now...

Peace...

Not Sure If I Really Need To Post, But...

I'm not really sure if I need to post anything, I haven't really had anything happen lately... also, even though I got a neat little hit-counter, I think I'm the only one who clicks it when I check out what's going on here... so, I'm not sure anyone's reading...

Ok, ok, I know, a blog is supposed to be about what the person writing wants to write, and not what other people are reading... one of my "friends" on here told me that I shouldn't worry about whether anyone reads it, just write it... I guess that's true, but...

I probably have a complex of some kind, I mean, I feel like, if I take the time to write this stuff out here in a public place, then I hope someone sees it... sorta like some kind of "need for validation"... not that I really want everyone to comment, if they don't want to they don't have to, but...

I guess it's why I'm afraid to finish all the short stories and novels I've started... I'm kind of afraid of the reaction I might get from people who may end up reading them...

O.K. then, sorry 'bout that... been feeling really tired, guess I just needed a quick "personal pity party" there... I just hope that no one feels I'm any more pathetic now than they did before... (haha, I hope that's a joke)...

Oh, and by the way, I want to PUBLICLY apologize (no, this is the last time, I promise) to someone who (I hope) will read this... it goes like this, I read a post of hers, dropped a comment, made a request to "talk" with her online, and, well, because of either the comment I left, or the way I made the request, I was misunderstood, and she kinda got "defensive", I guess I understand, but... in the end, I wish it hadn't happened, because the subject she THOUGHT I wanted to talk about was actually the LAST thing on my mind... what I really wanted was a view on life from someone with her attitude and lack of fear when it comes to discussing a subject...

But, oh well, I freaked her out, and now she's pretty much decided not to have anything to do with me, so... all I can say is, I HATE being misunderstood, and not given a chance to explain, so that's why I've taken MY time and space to try and apologize to her, and quit wasting hers... If you read this, please know that I've dropped it for good, and this here is the last I'll mention of it, unless you tell me you change your mind and want to talk...

I know that if you read this, you'll know who you are, so I'm not going to just drop your name or blog out here, I don't want to embarass you any more than I have...

Peace...

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday...

Not a whole lot to say today... sorry if my last post seemed like a rant, was just kinda tired...

Been sitting here, not really doing much web-hopping, more into trying to finish a video series I'm into... it's an Anime (yeah, Japanese animation) series called TRIGUN, about a guy they call Vash The Stampede... I know, most everyone thinks these shows are a lot of kid-stuff fluff, but if you haven't watched some of them, then you're missing out... most of them are actually NOT for kids, they're more like animated dramas aimed at adults (I'm not talking about the porn, or "hentai", either... that's a whole 'nother discussion)...

Anyway, in this series TRIGUN, Vash is a wandering gunman who really only wants peace and love for the world... he's not into killing, and will do everything possible to prevent someone dying... it's all set on this really desert planet that only has some habitable areas... there are a lot of evil people on the planet, and their main goal is pretty much to kill Vash... it's really a great show, it has a LOT of moral strength to it, and the character of Vash is pretty much one of my favorite characters in ANY kind of show or movie, ever. I've seen lots of movies, t.v. shows and such that try and teach right and wrong, good and evil, but this one really does get the point across... it's got a background story that unfolds kinda slow, and you really have to pay attention, and of course it's got a lot of cartoony-type action, but it's honestly a great show (or I wouldn't spend my time posting about it here)...

One last thing, down below are the lyrics to the song at the end credits of the show... they're written in subtitles as the words are sung in Japanese... I think they're cool, and they pretty accurately describe a wandering soul, which is just what Vash is...

Underneath the blue sky, the wind blows towards the future...
as if to draw the rays of the sun into an embrace.

I just let it push me around...
leaving only my footprints behind.

If I have the air to stroke my cheek and soft grass to fall down on...
I don't need anything else.

Sleeping with a contented smile...
I stare into tomorrow...
that stretches on endlessly.

Peace...

VERY Long Days, But The Days Are Getting Shorter...

Yep, I'm back... sorry to those of you who missed me, I had to take a break from my little place of salvation here and live in the real world for a while...

What the "real deal" is, as some of you who've been here before know, I'm in the Army, and we're leaving for Iraq in less than 2 months (hence, the days getting shorter... like I had to tell you)... this past week, we spent 5 (count'em, I said FIVE) days in the field, getting "certified" on the things we're going to do when we get "there"... from Monday morning at 5 a.m., to today (Friday! Hurray!) at about 5:30 p.m.(the VERY long days... of course you knew that), we had to camp out and prove to another unit here on post (don't think I've said where... won't now either) that we know what we're doing when it comes to most all of the things the Army says we need to know before they let us go to Iraq for a year... we did very well, even though it seems my unit (platoon, actually) can't get along for more than two minutes in a row... now all we have to do before we leave is pretty much pack and finish paperwork... thank goodness all the "hard" stuff is over, only easy stuff left...

That is, if you feel that planning to leave your family and friends for a year to go overseas and do something that most people feel is not only unnecessary, but flat out wrong, is easy...

You know what, how's about we all do this: Take your mental eraser and simply wipe out EVERYTHING I just said in the preceding paragraphs... because if you don't, then before I know it, SOMEONE will end up posting a comment on here that will either be WAY to sappy/sympathetic, or will just flat out TICK me off, and to tell the truth, I don't want either kind of comment at all... in fact, if you can't just drop a nice hello here, please don't say anything at all...

Oh, by the way... I saw a couple of BEAUTIFUL sunrises, a few GORGEOUS sunsets, and slept in (and through) quite a few hours worth of rain... I saw a little bit of what nature has to offer, and I must say that when I look back on this past week, the beauty of it all made up for some of the "missing the family" and "pain in the ass" work I had to do... SOME, not all...

Peace...

Well...

Not quite sure what to post about today... it's been a decent week at work, but next week will suck... possibly all week in the field, maybe to include Saturday... oh, well, once we get it out of the way, we'll be o.k....

Not even much to complain about... I mean, it's been pretty good overall, tired as usual, but good things still happening... apparently I might not be awake enough yet to post anything real...

I only have a couple of things on my mind, one of which is simply this: If people really feel that all of this "hurricane relief" stuff has been motivated by race or politics (both of which are entirely possible), then write your feelings down, keep them updated every so often, and bring them back out the next time you VOTE. Don't forget your feelings, but don't let them get in the way of what needs to happen NOW. Right now, regardless of HOW you feel the situation is being handled, it's important to remember that it needs to be dealt with, people need safety, clean water, food, and entire cities need to be rebuilt. I personally think that all of the energy that's being focused on ARGUING about who's doing what would be better spent HELPING AND REBUILDING people's lives. If all you're doing is sitting around wondering why someone hasn't come to help you or done enough to help you, then maybe you should save those feelings and worry more about helping yourself or someone else. Time will tell on all of the people who've screwed things up, but what needs to be done now is way more important than politics, or (to me personally) even racism right now...

Just MY feelings, please don't slam me for them...

A great tragedy has befallen this country, and a period of mourning combined with the hope of recovery is at hand... this Church mourns those who were lost...

Also, I'd like to take just a moment to say that one of my favorite actors passed away last week... Bob Denver, who we all knew and loved as Gilligan, and I actually remember from re-runs as Maynard G. Krebbs on the old show "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" died Friday, Sep. 2nd... He will be missed, not only for his t.v. roles, but also for his charitable work... log on to Bob Denver's website, and there's a message about his passing, and how his family wants those who care to donate to his charity, The Denver Foundation Inc. (NOT to be confused with any organizations from the CITY of Denver), which is an organization for the handicapped in Mr. Denver's home state of West Virginia...

A time of mouring is upon this Church, both for the great and small things that befall us all...

Peace...

A Word To Those Who Annoy...

I have a statement to those who "spam" others. First of all, your work is often deleted without so much as a second glance. All of the time you spend creating such worthless junk is wasted. Why you choose to spend your time creating such CRAP that others not only find annoying, but often just downright RUDE, is baffling. Why not use your creativity for GOOD instead of EVIL? Do you honestly think that these ugly little attempts at attracting our attention will actually make us want to LIKE your product or service? Are you really naive enough to think that we'll try what you have to offer us and it will CHANGE OUR LIVES FOREVER?

Get real. The only thing you do with these grotesque little pieces of internet dung is ensure that NO ONE with the actual capabilities you're seeking comes anywhere NEAR your website, product, or service. In fact, I can assure you that at NO POINT IN TIME whatsoever are you going to receive anything even resembling the fantasy reaction that you've envisioned.

I can also tell you with almost perfect certainty that people, REAL people, already KNOW that any actual person or company that can REALLY come out with a product or service that they need, find useful, and can be satisfied with, would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS resort to such trivial and useless measures which you find so enthralling to your miniature little minds. Because a REAL company knows that the REAL way to attract consumers is by giving what they expect, and NOT annoying the living hell out of them until they hate you with the red hot fires of a billion burning suns...

Peace to all who DON'T "spam"...